Two Decades Of Florida Family Law Experience

Using the gray rock strategy to deal with a narcissist

On Behalf of | Nov 23, 2021 | Divorce

More people in Florida are talking about narcissism these days. It could be that there is just more awareness of the personality disorder, or it could be that our modern culture is causing more narcissism. Whatever it is, going through a divorce with someone who you feel is a narcissist can be extremely difficult.

Using the gray rock strategy for dealing with a narcissist

If you’ve read anything about narcissism, you know that narcissists love feeding off other people’s energy, whether that energy is positive or negative. The “gray rock” strategy is a way to be around a narcissist without allowing them to make you feel drained. Instead of giving a narcissist what they want, choose to show no emotion, limit your communication and generally act like a boring gray rock.

Being a gray rock means not giving a narcissist positive or negative attention while you’re around them. If the narcissist says something to try to upset you, don’t respond. Limit the information you share with the narcissist to just the basic and essential facts.

Risks of using the gray rock strategy

There are risks of using the gray rock strategy with a narcissist, especially one that you live with. However, if you’re going through a divorce, you may be able to transition from acting like a gray rock to having no contact with the narcissist.

One risk of using the gray rock strategy is that it can cause a narcissist to intensify their behavior in order to get a reaction out of you. The narcissist may increase their verbal assaults since you are no longer feeding their need for drama.

Less contact may be better

If you’re constantly around a narcissist acting like a gray rock, the strategy could backfire. However, limiting your contact with a narcissist and then employing the gray rock strategy in the brief moments you have to see them could work.